Tangible Kingdom (Week 8 Day 4) “Saying No”
August 17th, 2009 § 2 Comments
The most important word my dog knows is, “No”.
“No”, has kept her out of trouble many times. Whether it’s been used to stop her from chasing after another dog who might not be as friendly as she is, to keep her from diving into the kitchen trash, or jaunting out into a busy street. “No”, has literally saved her life. It’s kind of a “junk drawer” word for her, but one that she takes seriously.
The most simple adjustment we can make to create room for a spontaneous, intuitive life is to cut out the things we don’t need to do. It’s so easy to get caught in patterns of saying “yes” to everything. Then, when God wants to use us, we’re too busy or too exhausted to respond.” – TK Primer pg. 182
We’re kinda the opposite of that. No is not a common word in our vocabulary (does that count as a double negative?). And we suffer the consequence at times. We talk a lot about the “margin” that we have to build into our lives to be intentional about mission and incarnational community… “No” might be the most important word to protect it. The key, however, is saying no to the right things. And listening for the right voice.
When my kids tell my dog “No”, she rarely responds. It’s as if she doesn’t hear them. If she does, she hesitates. When I do it, she stops on a dime. There’s a lesson to be learned here… there’s a belief, a priority, a motive, and an authority that speaks into our “No’s”. Are we listening for where God is telling us to say no? Or are we listening for when our tradition, our guilt, our insecurities, or our selfishness tell us to say no? There’s a big difference.
i get caught in “saying yes” to everything. it’s partly because i want to do everything because i feel like i’m going to miss out on something, but then as the p182 quote says “when god wants to use us, we’re too busy or too exhausted to respond.” and i know i can’t physically do three different events in one night and have to choose. then you have to listen well to hear what god is telling you is best. our pastor at our old church in dc did a series one summer about “rest” and we learned sometimes you have to say no to a good thing in order to say yes to an even better thing.
listening to what god tells you is best is how you can have more spontaneous, intuitive situations. in my current situation of not working i’ve been blessed with the time to be able to bless others with being able to spontaneously help when it’s needed. not everyone is in the same situation as me. but i’ve learned god puts me in places and around people that he wants me around at that time for a reason. i didn’t take advantage of this immediately. through prayer and listening i’ve been able to see these opportunities for what they are and have been blessed with the time to do them. i couldn’t do that as much when i was working full time. i’m going to take advantage of the time god has given me.
I can certainly appreciate your thoughts Holly.
The thing that usually get’s me and I think is a pattern with many believers is when we choose first to say “no” to the church stuff instead of the other optional chaotic things in our lives like social activities, youth sports, etc…
As a church, we certainly want to “organize” in a way that leaves margin for our members… with that in mind, we should clearly communicate the things that are primary and the things that are secondary (or optional). Just because we provide it as an option, doesn’t mean it’s healthy for everyone to do it. That’s an attitude of balance that we should take with work, socially, and other areas as well.
we’re a funny bunch aren’t we?